Shorts are Tacky and Other Ruminations

Shorts are tacky. You walk up to someone and they've taken a journey up your crotch. F-

Non-planning a wedding is awesome if you're doing it with your non-engaged friends.

My fish tank has water in it but no fish because I'm too poor to buy any.

I couldn't wait to get rid of my parents but the moment they left I was lonely.

Sem. Gem. -- what idiot thought that up?

A manicure and pedicure would be nice.

Basic cable sucks.

Orange chocolate rocks my world.