Delinquent Blogger
I have not been a very diligent blogger lately. Unfortunately, it seems, my life is unraveling. It isn't literally falling apart, of course. It just seems that way, especially recently.
There are plenty of good things happening. Somewhere. To someone. But I'm in a funk that I can't escape. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm not really able to get anything done. I feel like I'm so far behind that I won't ever catch up.
Yesterday I had an emotional meltdown and sobbed for about an hour and a half. I'm dried out now. I felt better just to have the release. Nothing has changed, but at least it's not all pent up inside. I think living alone lets me bottle things--I don't tell anyone anything (only excepting my fish).
Today was a great 201 day. I had more fun with them then the rest of the class periods combined. Today they were goofy and silly and I was really my weird self with them. More so myself then "teacher Christi" and it felt nice. We did intros & conclusions--stimulating, I know. But on some level we connected and it worked.
Tonight mon fiancé comes into town. It will be good to reconnect. We haven't seen each other in about a month. Tomorrow we go to the courthouse to get our marriage license and swear that we aren't related and that I am a woman and he is a man. Oh, Minnesota, let me count the ways I love you. We only have a 5 day waiting period since neither of us have felonies...at least not in this state.
I got my first rejection letter yesterday. Just in case I didn't really understand the first time, they sent me a duplicate. Nothing makes a girl feel more special than the same form letter--twice.
I'm poor. And nervous.
This semester, although ridded with trials and scary times, has been one of my best in Mankato. I'm taking a class I really enjoy and teaching a class that I have connected with and respects me. I wish it had all been like this. The first couple semesters were terrible. But they made me better. And even though my stomach still churns at the sight of those who cut me (rightfully) down to size, I thank them. For making me work harder and stop thinking so highly of myself.
I am just Christi. And I just might make it.
How ya'all doing?
There are plenty of good things happening. Somewhere. To someone. But I'm in a funk that I can't escape. I feel like no matter how hard I try, I'm not really able to get anything done. I feel like I'm so far behind that I won't ever catch up.
Yesterday I had an emotional meltdown and sobbed for about an hour and a half. I'm dried out now. I felt better just to have the release. Nothing has changed, but at least it's not all pent up inside. I think living alone lets me bottle things--I don't tell anyone anything (only excepting my fish).
Today was a great 201 day. I had more fun with them then the rest of the class periods combined. Today they were goofy and silly and I was really my weird self with them. More so myself then "teacher Christi" and it felt nice. We did intros & conclusions--stimulating, I know. But on some level we connected and it worked.
Tonight mon fiancé comes into town. It will be good to reconnect. We haven't seen each other in about a month. Tomorrow we go to the courthouse to get our marriage license and swear that we aren't related and that I am a woman and he is a man. Oh, Minnesota, let me count the ways I love you. We only have a 5 day waiting period since neither of us have felonies...at least not in this state.
I got my first rejection letter yesterday. Just in case I didn't really understand the first time, they sent me a duplicate. Nothing makes a girl feel more special than the same form letter--twice.
I'm poor. And nervous.
This semester, although ridded with trials and scary times, has been one of my best in Mankato. I'm taking a class I really enjoy and teaching a class that I have connected with and respects me. I wish it had all been like this. The first couple semesters were terrible. But they made me better. And even though my stomach still churns at the sight of those who cut me (rightfully) down to size, I thank them. For making me work harder and stop thinking so highly of myself.
I am just Christi. And I just might make it.
How ya'all doing?
posted by Christi @ 7:31 PM
1 Comments:
At 11:20 AM,
Michael David MacBride said…
I don't think it's just you, this semester has been good to me but very challenging. I feel as though I'm just over that line between chaos and order, and maybe I took on too many things at once.
The important thing to remember is: it's all temporary. In a few months it will all be over. For me, Spring Break really is the breaking point. If I can make it through this week, I'm in good shape.
Speaking of which, we should do something. Maybe go to the zoo, or something random.
Even though I do have the benefit of having someone to talk to, somehow it's not quite the same as having someone who is in the same boat. Sure, she's been there before (and done that) but of course now she has her own problems.
Anyway, if you need someone to vent to, give me a yell.
PS: It's good to know that you only have to wait 5 days and that you don't have any felonies. Hee hee. I love random policies/regulations like that.
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